Saturday, November 17, 2007

I hate conferences!

It never fails--I go to some faith-based conference and the following happens:
1. I go somewhat "crazy" for two days;
2. I start returning to Kraig-normal and begin to experience some spiritual crisis;
3. God deals with me in a very meaningful way;
4. I go home a very different person.

It is, quite honestly, a truly painful experience for me! This has been no exception. I am currently attending the Youth Specialties National Youth Worker Conference in Atlanta, GA. I arrived on Wednesday, and I go home on Monday. True to my normal experience, I went "crazy" Wednesday night and Thursday night; Friday was a very down day for me--I mean that intensely. I sat in worship and felt nothing. I sat in conferences and felt . . . . nothing. Honestly, I have noticed, at least twice in the last year, times when I have actually experienced spiritual depression, which is unusual for me. I came home last night asking God to reveal to me the root of my "issue" (one of many, I know). When I finally arose this morning, I felt some better, but I still have been praying today for God to show me what's going on.

For tonight's "General Session," I made sure to get a seat closer to the front. Louie Giglio spoke and Chris Tomlin played afterwards. Just by the way, if you've never heard Louie Giglio speak, stop what you are doing (like reading this blog), and look him up. He is phenomenal, not because he has great words of wisdom, but because he is always pointing to the very basics of Christ and, in this case, the cross. His whole 'talk' tonight was how we MUST go to the cross when the bottom drops out beneath us. The cross shows us God's love for us; it shows us God's empathy with us; it shows us God's victory for us; it shows God's control over life and man's freedom for us; it shows God's plan for us. As a "side benefit," I can see times when I have failed, in my AF ministry, to point people to the cross of Christ and God's plan in the world as the answer for injustice. Anyway, as Louie prays, and Chris Tomlin begins to play, God just reveals the root of my struggle. He gives me a word for the struggle and a picture of His healing in my life. Chris Tomlin ends with "Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)" tonight. As he did, I could see and feel the chains drop off. It was amazing. It was freeing. It was totally God at work.

Please pray for me these two things:
1. God's healing of reconciliation in my life;
2. That I can get into the practice of pointing people to the cross, especially as they share with me their struggles, questions, and hurts.

God Bless.